Cars Suck/Cars Rule Conundrum

Riding in my car or on my bike in traffic has re-enforced my utter contempt for humanity countless times. Motorized transportation that you are responsible for seems to bring out the worst in just about everyone who drives, myself included. I hate it. You are hurtling along in yr self-contained internal combustion travesty generally paying attention to anything except actually driving said vehicle. Everyone that drives faster than you is a maniac and everyone that drives slower is an idiot. Whilst you are fiddling with yr radio/make-up (not me usually)/ ac/heater/phone/gps everyone behind you is subject to yr random swerving, speeding up and slowing down. Oh and heaven forbid someone is pulled to the side of the road with a breakdown or fender bender as this demands slowing down to a crawl so quality rubber-necking can ensue. The same ridiculous speed decreases apply in tunnels, on bridges and if a spritz of rain appears.

I do not live near any mountain biking trails. The closest mountains are at least three to four hours away. The closest park to my house that has legit single track is a fifteen to twenty minute drive. There are no subways or light rail (yet) anywhere nearby and taking a series of buses to get there would be too time prohibitive. I must drive to get to any real off road riding I wish to do. The best trail systems around here are all across the Chesapeake Bay scattered up the I64 corridor on the way to Richmond with the closest one to me being about twenty-five + minutes w/o any traffic. However, I must navigate one of the two bridge tunnel systems to get there and that invariably leads to those aforementioned ridiculous slow downs.

I would love for there to be an extensive public transportation system linking all points of this region and others, but I have my doubts that I will see anything like that in my lifetime. The MARTA lines in Atlanta, although limited at least let me take adventures with my bike around town to some of the small in town rides and bigger urban rides to play and shop. So my disdain for cars is tempered by my inherent dependence on them. It is nice to go shop, run errands, get meals, etc. whenever you want while be able to transport others, but I try to limit my use of my vehicle as much as I can. As the price of gas climbs nearly everyday, I know that I am very fortunate to be able to commute via bike to work and live close to my offices as such to minimize my fuel consumption. Fuel costs in Europe are already at least a dollar more than the US average cost per gallon. The shit is gonna hit the fan for many if we continue down our current path. I would love to see the US infrastructure become more like Europe with vast public transportation options and a plethora of energy efficient vehicles available. Maybe H2's could be melted down to rebuild the bridges that are failing around the country. I admit I am a junkie too thats gonna kick tomorrow.

I went to the PSP fest yesterday and had real cool time. I did a group ride that encompassed all of the Lakeview trails and was a blast. I got back to the staging area in time to catch the Huffy toss and run into DJ with whom I did a short loop with before I split. It seems that everyone had fun and there was a solid turnout. I understand that it started to rain up there later so the night activities and todays events were canceled, but at least yesterday was good. I must thank my car for getting me up there and back. I will get over it. I mean anything is possible and maybe world peace and understanding are not far off if a big monster truck bike riding creep and a skinny single speeding 29'er pilot can enjoy a ride together...

Total Passover!!!

Total Passover indeed, but I will excuse Tom for not mentioning playing with moi on the page of his old band. Then again since we never released anything it doesn't really matter, but Thunderball 3 did manage to play some fun shows in our brief existence and I am glad it helped catapult those guys into other gigs.

Passover has always been my favorite Jewish holiday by a long shot. The meals are interesting, educational, and generally pretty dang tasty. It was always a great time with lots of family and usually some non-family guests with all kibitzing, noshing, wine drinking, and of course as kid having the potential to win cash for finding the Afikomen. Tonight was no different with great time had by all over at my uncle's house. This video sums up the fun and hilarity of the season.

I re-acquainted myself with some older recordings this week including The Fluid's Glue/Roadmouth The Mummies Never Been Caught and Jack O' Fire's The Destruction of Squaresville. All of this stuff kicks some serious butt and probably is not for the faint of heart. I never did see the later two, but I did catch The Fluid in Richmond around the time their album Purplemetalflakemusic came out. They rocked hard and have to be one of my favorite Denver exports musically along with the Hillbilly Hellcats. I was never blown away by The Mummies back when I first heard them in the early '90's. Their sound was ultra lo-fi and sounded primitive even by most simplistic garage bands' outputs at the time. However, listening to this stuff again has given me a new appreciation for their trashy style. There are some real gems in their musical toilet. Again, not for the faint of heart as they can be obscene and the music at times is pretty annoying in how shoddy it sounds, yet there is some bang-on playing in there. Jack O' Fire on the other hand were amazing and put a vast array of covers through their punk/blues meat grinder with stellar results. The harmonica playing and distorted vocals will cut you in half as you are pummeled by Tim Kerr's fuzzed-out guitar wailing and their stomping rhythm section. Their take on Joy Division's No Love Lost is other worldly. Remember to call yr Mummie! Mazel Tov! Don't forget to check out my new linkages. PSP festival is this coming weekend and its should be a blast. Lotsa potential there for some sweet air.

a deluxe apartment in the sky...

...well actually a house by the Lafayette River. We'll be moved in the next month to our new pad which is maybe about 3/4 of a mile from our current digs. I am fired up 'bout it, but the packing and schlepping are never that fun. The new place has a really huge garage, a point that was important to us with all the bikes, tools and parts we have. I have enjoyed the house that we have called home for nearly two years, but I will be glad to be in our own place with everything brand new. We'll be settled in long before our new family member arrives in September which is a big plus for my wife, her comfort and my peace o' mind.

Speaking of keeping my sanity, the weather here lately has been typical of SE Virginia springtime with plenty of rain and wildly varying temperatures. I have not been out to ride any off road in a couple of weeks due to sloppy conditions and my berserk schedule. I am gonna try to make up for that this week and get back out to Ipswich after work and perhaps the rescheduled EVMA 1st annual Mountain bike festival that was moved to this coming Saturday due to the aforementioned shitty weather which is threatening to screw it up again. I have had only one real ride since I put new Avid Code 5 brakes on my bike and I am itching to go heat them up again. Their performance was very impressive, tons of power, smooth modulation and pleasantly quiet. I may eventually put the Dangerboy levers I had on my old Juicy's, but the standard levers are pretty dang comfortable. I am definitely jonesin' for a good ride; I have read the latest issues of Dirt Rag, Bike and Decline cover to cover. I love riding to work however even taking circuitous routes does not scratch that itch. I know, I know; patience grasshopper. "Time for you to leave."

Never change...

..whatever you do. I like noisy, fucked up punk rock music. I have for a very long time. Last night I was a participant in providing such entertainment and I had a blast doing so. The show in question was The Points (wailing above), The Hydeouts, and my band jack leg (page coming soon upon us doing some long overdue recording). The venue Tanner's Creek is a little seafood restaurant just around the corner from my house that seems pretty popular with the Norfolk police. It is an extremely informal place to have a show which adds to its DIY punk aesthetic. Tables and chairs are piled up out of the way and bands set up in front of a non-functioning fireplace surrounded by assorted nautical art on the walls. A primitive PA takes care of vocals only (barely) and its otherwise its a "run what you brung" affair. The only reason we even played was cause Bob loves The Points and made the calls to the show promoter and The Hydeouts to get us on the bill only a week ago. Pretty dang punk to start out and reminded me of throwing together house parties years ago where bands would just kinda show up with their crap and play to a bunch of partying fools. Same deal last night, as Tanners feels like you are in someones dinning room doing something you are not supposed to. No hoopla, backstage, or attitudes; everybody helps set up/breakdown and does their thing without any real schedule or rules. The sound is pretty lousy, but no one really cares; the small crowds are predominately people from the bands and their close friends.

jack leg kicked off on our 10 PM start time promptly at 10:40 and tore through our set of reckless originals and covers. We added a cool kooky cat named John on bass since our last outtings and he has filled out our sound tremendously. Everybody seemed to dig it despite some technical difficulties and random squirrel tossing. The Hydeouts were up next and blasted a huge wall-o-guitar sound that for me was reminiscent of The Dead Boys and "Kick Out the Jams" era MC5

We all really liked them and look forward to doing some more shows with those guys.

The Points who came down from DC started their show with some silly tape loops of the Ghostbusters theme and Darth Vader's score from Star Wars. They then tore into their nitro-fueled sound that has a cool mix of screeching guitar, no wave keyboard droning and machine-gun drumming. They barely stopped for even a second between songs which made many of them tend to blur together, but their signature number "Rock N Roll, No Rules" was recognizable and ripped. The Points shear intensity made up for any lack of dynamics; they were mesmerizing not unlike watching a car crash. They were all very cool to boot.

Overall it was a great show. It was not crowded, but everyone there seemed to be into it. Every band sounded very different too. I am not going get nostalgic for my days of youth; fuck that. This is the new deal now; yeah Rock N Roll No Rules!

Well, I bet you like...

...whatever band that seems edgy to those in the mainstream. In reality these selections by those who try in some way to relate to my pantheon of musical tastes are usually so far off base its hard for me to not come off as a complete ass and not laugh, berate, or belittle the offenders. Those who do not know me often have thought that I might be a fan of stuff like Guns'N'Roses for whom I have never really liked. When they first hit in 86'-87' they just came off way too contrived and totally steeped in the rockstar bullshit I so rallied against as a young hardcore punk fan. I am reading Slash's autobiography and he comes off as I kinda expected. Predictable, just like the bloated riffage squealing from his Les Paul/Marshall combo. Jimmy Page and many others did a better and more interesting job with that set up. Maybe this will achieve some good hate mail here.

So just where do I find the music that sparks my interest you might ask? Back in the day before this internet thingy, local, regional, and a few national fanzines were my source for what was going on. There is some great coverage about this early underground media source in the DVD and book American Hardcore. It snowballed from there as one band would turn you on to some other band that was cool and so on. Independent labels would also lead you to other acts on their roster that you might like. In the late 80's early 90's you could join the Sub Pop singles club and others like it to get their select 7" record releases of many of the most happening acts at the time. Today you can't swing a dead cat without hitting some source of music, scenes, art or events. I love listening to podcasts from Garagepunk.com and checking out Pitchfork for an endless supply of music that no one has heard of. Fuck Slash. Ha!Lately a couple of bands have been hogging ear time for me. An oldie but absolutely timeless record is the Modern Lovers self-titled album. This might be some of the most catchy collection of tunes that I have ever heard. Simple and smart, it blends well with just about any play list I put together. Most people's only familiarity with their brilliant leader Jonathan Richman will have been his cameos in the movie Something About Mary where he popped as a troubadour in the background singing songs about portions of the film. I could write tons about this album, but just check it out.

The other band No Age I read about in and article covering this years South by Southwest music festival. Their release Weirdo Rippers came out late last summer and is primitive and dynamic simultaneously. Its noisy as hell which I love and at least a few of the tracks make me wanna go nuts. They list Squeeze, Crass, The Ramones, and The Urinals among their influences. Weirdo rippers for sure!

Now to change it up. Lotsa bike stuff happening in the near future. I would have never believed we would have an alleycat right here in lil' old Norfolk, but here ya go.

On the same day there is some biking and bbq action in Surry as noted on the Cycling Central Virginia site. In just a few weeks EVMA is hosting their first annual York River State Park mountain bike festival. I will definitely check that one out. I haven't been up there in awhile so it should be fun.

The big prize pig is the second annual HIP/VIP ride down in Pisgah in May. Technically, its for Turner or Ventana bike owners, but you could likely sweet talk your way in for that one. Check out T2 Bikes for raffle info and the Turner Forum on Empty Beer.com for the scoop. I will soon be doing some sweet pimping with these super-dope bar end caps. I could not resist the enduring allure of the mud flap siren. Yeeeeeeoooooow!!!!

Random acts of beauty and insanity...

Oh my pretty... One of the hot new rigs that people are hootin about on various forums and yonder is the new Blur LT from one of my fave bike companies Santa Cruz. There is a very cool write up on nsmb.com about the behind the scenes development of the bike and its prototypes. My pal Bobasaki (rockin' his Mustang below) bought the original Blur LT last year and it is a smoking ride. The new one is something I might consider even though it has less travel than what I am running now. Those VPP's sure do ride nice though and the geometry is almost identical to my beloved Heckle-beast. The new BLT's shape is very similar to the Nomad which my pal Mike rides and swears by. The Nomads I have rode all felt a bit too stretched out for me since the coresponding size has a longer top tube, wheel base, and slacker head angle. If I was going to hook up with one it would not be for awhile and I would likely buy the whole bike as opposed to cannibalizing parts off of something else. The closest SC dealer is in Richmond so I would either buy online or sweet-talk my lbs into hooking up an order. We'll see. I am going to ride tomorrow w/ the EVMA for the Sunday morning group ride up in Williamsburg. Despite my lust over the new BLT its highly likely one ride aboard Heckle-beast will dissuade me from such impure thoughts. Its hard to argue with a rig that has held up to my endless abuse for nearly three years, has never held me back from any kind craziness I attempted and always felt dialed throught multiple component and suspension changes. Its always looked bitchin' in flat black too.

Another black thing I have always been drawn to is Black Sabbath. They are currently revisiting their "Dio" days a period for which I was not a fan of 'cept maybe the title track to Mob Rules but I digress. One of my very first albums (not counting assorted Disney story records) was Paranoid. No matter how important, influential or whatever anything is you can't take anything too seriously. I nearly pee-ed myself when I saw this ultra-sweet Cindy and Bert video. Whats up with the dog? Check out the blistering original first then put on yr dancing shoes for Cindy and Bert's version.





1000 Homo DJ's did a cool dance remix of the song "Supernaut" a few years ago, but this takes the cake. Now lets ride.

Getting the "Sweet Down" in Pisgah Part 2

So Friday at Bent Creek I had just about everything go awry that could and decided that it only could get better from there. Fortunately, it did. Friday evening the bulk of our group crashed at Mark's swingin' Saluda cabin, which is just about perfect (throw in a hot tub, a go-cart track, suana, steam room, etc. and it will be perfect-HA!). A nice pot-luck dinner with spagetti, lasagna, cup cakes, brownies, assorted deli-meats, cheeses and tons of beer helped me forget about my less than great luck during the afternoon's ride. We watched bike videos like The Collective the Earthed series, talked bikes, looked at bike magazines, and could not have done more bike-related stuff save taking baths in chain lube. BTW, being the music nut/snob that I am I could not help but notice how impressive the soundtracks that accompany the Earthed videos are. I certainly would never expect to hear Fang and Television in a bike video, but needless to say it rocked. A few more brews, my earplugs (buncha snoring creeps!), a lil' reading and I was out.

The next morning we were up early for our rendevous with the rest of the group at a Whole Foods-like market closer to the trail. After some milling around we caravaned off to the trail parking area. Our guides Marty and Christian, Asheville locals from Pro-Bikes http://www.pro-bikes.com/ felt that we would all prefer to end the ride with a descent back to the vehicles rather than a five mile fire road climb and we all agreed. Thus we began the ride up to the Heartbreak Ridge trail head with the aforementioned climb. I will characterize the ride overall as a death march as the bulk of it is climbing; up to an elevation of close to 5200' with over 4000' of climbing during the 20-some odd miles of riding. It was easily the most climbing I have encountered since last summer's rides in Switzerland with the two characters in masthead picture. I was hurting something fierce but managed to climb and descend all of it, albeit slowly. The last 5-6 miles of the climb was nothing but rocks. It was like climbing up poorly made steps which maybe would have been easier aboard smaller lighter-weight bikes, but I was thankful to have that extra stability when we began bombing down the sketchy descent. Heading down was pretty damn fun and included some gnarly rock sections, rooty off-camber exposure and some hectic switchbacks. Overall, and I am not complaining, I thought it was a bit too much work for the descent, which was fun but not as mind-blowing as the climb was heart-breaking. I am glad to have taken part and pleased I kept the rubber down, but I do not have any burning desire to do that one again anytime soon. I love the idea of big epic all-day rides so in that sense it fit the bill. I guess I just prefer more downhill or at least close to equal with the uphill. I learned a long time ago that I will never be a great climber or all that fast, so I have set up my bikes to maximize the parts of the ride I enjoy the most (the technical and the downhill) and tolerate (survive?) the rest. We all finished the ride together and cruised back into town for some pizza and beer. We then bid farewell to Marty and Christian (y'all kicked ass, thanx!) and retreated to Che-Mark. I took off the next morn after some breakfast and got home in time to chill followed by a nice dinner with my honey. I look forward to getting back soon if not for the Homers in Pisgah ride coming up in May. I will likely get back before that maybe for just a day blast with the fellas.

Afterword: I thought a lot about how I was feeling weak during both rides, as if nothing I could do gave me any energy. It is highly possible that my bloodsugars were outta wack and I was having insulin pump problems. I did some research and found some websites that deal with type 1 diabetics and exercise concerns including some specific info on mountain biking diabetics. Granted I may not have a great atheletic make-up, but I know I can at least not have any diabetic side-effects slow me down. See ya out there.

Totally unrelated and f#%*d up: The all-time most weird ink I have ever seen was a tattoo of Priscilla Presley riding a unicycle nude, juggling pills. I wish I had a picture, but you can use yr noodle on that. This is a close second in pure wrongness. Yuck.