Bag-O-Beast

I am going to confess right here and now so that this testament may exist in cyberspace for eternity. I love bags. I am a bag hag. Maybe a bag fag. Whatever. I cannot deny it. The bags in my life have followed two particular use trajectories. First is the simple "carry-all-of-yr-crap-around-in" bag. The guy's version of a pocketbook. These started simple enough as knapsack when I was kid. I carried my lunch, pencils, crayons, erasers and books to school with these. Although their complexity and size changed as time went on, they basically consisted of a large zippered inner compartment, usually a small outer compartment and two shoulder straps. I rarely ever used both shoulder straps to wear it as a proper backpack as it was too time consuming to wrestle in and out of to get to items quickly. I wore like a shoulder bag with one strap becoming a vestigial limb. Some of them had a handle or loop at the top to carry it with one hand like a suitcase, but this of course tied up a hand that you could be doing something else with. These bags served me all the way into college. My number one complaint with backpack-style bags was that if you had only one strap in use as was my proclivity, the damn thing invariably slide down yr arm either crippling you with imbalance or forcing you to stop re-adjust it. Totally annoying either way. I could still be convinced to possibly carry something as badass as one of these Star Wars packs. Perhaps the Force would keep it in place. Once I got to college I found out about the practicality of other bag styles. I went through different army duffles and Israeli paratrooper bags finally settling on what I still carry today the messenger bag. I have employed this style of bag for over twenty years through school, work and travel. It really has no downsides and there are zillions of different options. It alleviates my complaints with backpacks in that your stuff is much easier to access and the strap stays put over yr shoulder. A secondary stabilizer strap keeps it locked in place and the bag is very stable while cycling even on rough terrain. You can haul a ton of stuff one as well w/o it killing yr back or wrecking yr ballance. There are many great companies that make messenger bags like Timbuk 2, R.E. Load, Manhattan Portage, PAC Designs and my personal favorite Chrome. I have two Chrome bags and have one with me almost always. I love their functionality, but they look great too with a clever integration of a classic seat belt with the Chrome logo emblazoned on the button. Not to mention that these bags would likely survive a nuclear blast. Hellbelly sez "Hell Yeah!"


The second type of bag of which I utilize routinely is a hydration pack. I have always hated having/carrying things on my bike like computers, seat bags and water bottles. I jumped on the hydration pack idea as soon as they came out. Brilliant idea; never having to take yr hand really away from riding and you have everything else you need right in a neatly organized pack. Yes, I have tried carrying stuff in those silly roadie-style jerseys w/ the 3 rear pockets. Unfortunately the gear flopping around in the pockets never feels comfortable and I hate the way they fit. Its mountain biking dammit not the frickin' Tour. I am pretty sure CamelBak were the first hydration pack systems and while I still think their bladders are the best, their bags generally left a lot to be desired. Generally with the 4-5 of them I have had the straps would fray, seams would come apart, but most importantly they always felt like I was wearing a brick on my back. Terrible air flow and their stability was always iffy.

In '99 I did a group ride in North Georgia with the first IMBA trail care crew, Mike and Jan Ritter. It was hot and I was complaining about my Camel "brick" when I noticed the Ritters were running a pack I had never seen or heard of. They both swore by their Vaude Splash series packs. Vaude is a German company that made some very smartly designed packs. I scored one and it became my go-to pack for more than five years. It is the only hydration pack that I have ever seen that uses an adjustable internal suspension system which allows it to have only 4 small contact points on yr back vs. "the brick". The bag was absolutely bullet-proof; I have never had to replace anything and nothing has come apart. Keep in mind this was using this bag year 'round regardless of weather at least 2-3 times a week and often more. I still have this bag and it is in great shape for being nearly 9 years old. Towards the end of its tenure I started to feel that I did not to carry my whole life and a bike shop around with me on every ride. The Vaude although very comfortable is a big pack and just seemed like too much to lug around on my shorter 1.5-2 hr after work rides. Vaude since has ceased making hydration bags and several years ago when I checked out their smaller options I was unimpressed.

I picked up a cheap-o Roach pack off eBay for pennies. Roach had been bought out by Raceface and you could find many of their cool products for nothing. This little pack was nothing fancy and was certainly not anything I would want to take on a long ride, but it worked just fine for my post work jaunts. It was small enough that despite its "brick" feeling design it did not bug me too much. I was covered fro short or long rides b/t the Roach and my Vaude but bigger things loomed on my horizon.

In 2007 myself, Mike, and Mark did our trip to Switzerland as I have previously discussed here. In preparation we received a long list of items to bring including a hydration pack that had to have at least 1500 cu. in. of storage. My Vaude was big but not that big. Our guides recommended the Dakine Apex pack. Talk about carrying yr life w/ you, this thing was huge. I found a previous year model on closeout and decided to start riding with it all the time to get used to it. It looked heavy and cumbersome, but was quite the opposite. It stayed securely in place and surprisingly did not get that hot. It had pockets, compartments, tie-downs and storage for almost anything you could think of. It served me fantastically on the trip and has been terrific. I even rigged small speakers into the straps to plug my iPod into to rock and ride. I do not use it all the time though because it is just too much.

I really became quite enamored of having tunes playing during my rides as well as not being plugged into headphones. I wanted to rig my Vaude pack for speakers, but there was not the room to do it without major modifications. I came across a Skullcandy Link Hydropack which seemed to have everything I wanted with both tunes, hydration and gear storage. Although the speaker system was pretty clever the pack was a piece of junk. The zippers fell apart, the clasps broke and it brought back every back "brick" horror I could remember. Thankfully it was a cheap eBay score. I was able to salvage the speakers which was the best part anyway. I knew that the speakers would fit into Dakine bags as my homemade ones did so I went back to them to find a suitable pack.

Enter the Nomad. This bag has been fantastic in the short time I have run it. It has all of the features of the Apex, but not as big. The design is more steamlined and the straps are more secure. The internal layout blows away everything I have seen out there and the level of organization possible would please even the most anal-retentive cyclist. Its lines are clean and it is a nice looking pack as well. My lil' speaker system fit seamless into it and it shares its name with my bike. What more could I ask for? Maybe more time to ride, but that's life.

"Shaka bra dude, whats cracklin'?"

I was rountinely greeted with the above question many years ago by the manager of the surf shop where I worked. I always thought it sounded stupid for several reasons. 1. We were in Virginia Beach not Hawaii. 2. I hated the laid back surfer mentality that pervaded the town. 3. Virginia Beach has no waves at least not during the summer. I could never figure out why the surfers and the zillion wannabe's in VB thought their shit did not stink because they had little to no surf to act so cocky about.

Compounding my misgivings about the aforemnetioned lifestyle was the zenith of my immersion into hardcore punk and specifically skateboarding. As skateboarding was breaking away from the surf culture that spawned it, it became way more aggressive and the pasttime of choice of punkers across the US when they weren't getting into other trouble. This was well documented in the film Dogtown and the Z-Boys . My friends and I who skated went out to travel around town to find interesting places to hit and tear up and give the finger to anyone who challenged us. We were tossed or run off many locations by owners and cops. Never deterred, we would just go look for the next place to wreak havoc.

Minor Threat: Great DC tunes to get fired up to and then go skate.


I came to really enjoy covering great distances whilst hitting places along the way to rip, fall on my ass, whatever. These epics became routine for me during my time in college in DC. My buddies and I would start up near Bethesda and skate all the way downtown to the mall. We'd stop and tear up curbs, transitions or walls and then tear down some of the amazing downhill streets through Georgetown. Sometimes we'd stop at book or record stores or bars and grab a brew for additional fuel. On multiple occasions after skating all day we'd creep back to Georgetown and get Sushi and Sake all the while filthy, reeking and usually bloody from playing in the street for hours. I found these epics and street skating far more enjoyable than ramp skating. I skated ramps and vert and was okay, but I just would get bored too quickly trying to the same tricks or lines over and over. Not to mention often waiting to get a run or having to snake someone to drop in. The "sessioning" never did it for me. Its like going through same door over and over and expecting something different on the inside. The 1st time is fun, but it gets old fast. The same is true for many things.

Now I ride. I do not "session" on my bike although there are many that do. It bored me back than and it still does. I love hitting nasty lines, jumps, stunts and obstacles while riding, but I want to do them within the course of a ride. I may stop and try a section once maybe twice, but then its time to move on. I don't like to "practice" on my bike and to me that is what "sessioning" feels like. My favorite rides are long flowing trails with many technical sections and opportunities to get nutty. I climb and descend and flow through all of it. If I do not make a section I might try it again or maybe not; its not that important or entertaining.

The most entertaining trail in my vicinity is Freedom Park in Williamsburg, VA. Over the last year+ a number of stunts have been very well incorporated into the trail and more are going in all the time. I am very pleased that the building and design has been top-notch as it becomes very easy for these kinds of things to look awfull or worse be unsafe. As much as I love hitting these spots throughout the trail I believe that they would suck if all clustered together w/o the trail. Sure you could "session" them but interest would be rapidly lost as it has on another local trail where all the stunts are in one small area that is not part of the system. I stopped to "session" a new spot that was finished yesterday out there and while fun, I found myself becoming agitated just sitting around after hitting it a few times. I did not get to ride the bulk of the trail as the sunlight was dwindling and we had spent more time talking than riding. I will try to avoid this during my future visits. The best thing about yesterday's ride for me was seeing and talking with a family who were riding with their young daughter. The mom said that she and her daughter mostly stuck to the fire roads, but they did get out onto one of the fast downhill sections. The daughter excitedly said that she went so fast that her face turned "pale". Now that little girl has an epic under her belt. Cool.

Build it and they will...

...Ride! Yeah, how 'bout that? a 2-fer. Enough questionable music discussions for now. Yesterday I met up with G, a rider with similar proclivities as me and we headed up to the Mineral Virginia area which is about halfway between Richmond and Charlottesville right next to the middle of nowhere. According to the map in the above link its actually near the bustling metros of Bumpass, Trevilians and Beaverdam. Anyway, a rider who goes by the handle BCG (Bike Crazy Guy) owns a nice swath of property with a great house and nearly 4 miles of hand built trails peppered with stunts throughout the back portion of his land. There is something for any rider up there with great single track, man-made and natural jumps, bridge skinnies, drop-offs and two dirt jump rhthym lines. Everything has ride-arounds and the group of riders consisted of a pretty broad base of styles. Those in attendance included myself, G, Petrol, Trail Lummox, Chris and BCG with every kind of bike from a speed single 29-er to a DH/Freeride rig represented. BCG has mad riding skills and he makes all of the lines around his digs look easy...they aren't. Some of the lines are as nutty as anything this side of the northshore of Vancouver, BC including a double skinny drop step-down into a creek gap jump. There are elevated bridges and log rides that are all pretty impressive too. I stayed clear of the hairier stuff, but still had a blast on some of the more tame log rides and jumps. BCG's riding skills are only eclipsed by his hospitality as he whipped up grilled burgers and brats for the whole crew and we all enjoyed some tasty beverages to wash 'em down with. Sadly, BCG has the property for sale as with the arrival of his new baby boy modern ammenities like grocery stores, schools and medical care have become important. Maybe a right of passage could be written into their sales agreement to allow use of the trails ad infinitum for the previous owner. A great fall Sunday afternoon was had by all without a single minute of watching a football game.

Guilty Pleasures; part 2

Some years back whilst I was still living in the ATL a friend of mine who was ridiculously hip, fashionable, my hair-stylist and gay in fact, turned me on to the band/music collective Gus Gus (myspace page). Dance and disco music have long been the butt of many jokes in the rock'n'roll world. Combine this with an electronic techno group from Iceland and it starts to seem like you are conjuring up an old SNL skit. Nonetheless, I recall being at this guy's salon listening to assorted songs from Gus Gus that blasted from his iPod (he was the first person I knew that had one) that he had wired into the stereo. I guess what caught my attention was that it did not seem like background music, but instead commanded yr attention with its heavy beats and in-yr-face sound. The first release that I heard by them was "Attention" . Its still my favorite although I also really like "This is Normal". The sound is pounding yet melodic with crystaline haunting vocals and it makes you wanna move yr ass even if you might be otherwised embarassed to do so. I began putting selections from it into playlists that I would bring to my office. I always received compliments from everyone including this statement from one of my assistants: "That music's gay, but I like it" as she sashayed around the office. Below are a few videos which are at least a representation of their sound. Esthetically, they are kinda obtuse, but what would you expect from an Icelandic techno group?








I guess it is kinda gay (whatever that means) but I too like it.

Can you hear the drums...

...Sherando?!? Ah, how I love a hideous pun. The lowest form of humor. Oddly, even though I have an encyclopedic knowledge of pop music and often have an iPod blaring out whatever noisy crap shows up in one of my playlists, I still fall victim to having some terrible pop song getting stuck in my noodle. Thus the mental audio pun of hearing the first few lines of Abba's Fernando rattled in my head intermittantly whilst riding up at Sherando Lake on Sunday.

I left my cozy environs before dawn (note my zombie-like palor) to head up to RVa to meet my old pal DJ and his pal Ross shown giving me the stinkeye.

DJ graciously offered to drive the rest of the way from Richmond which seemed like a pretty short drive maybe an hour or so. We met up with their friend from Snowshoe, Darrel who was a good rider and pretty amusing. Although Ross had rode here before and DJ had hiked it nobody was exactly sure of the route.

A few false starts and we finally got into the thick of the riding which consists of mostly bench cut ridge line single track up the mountain side. The first word for the day was rocks and the second was leaves; tons of both. There are very few sections of the ride that are smooth and did not require yr undivided attention. The bulk of it is rideable although a few really steep (up and down) or messy parts require a hike-a-bike. The fall colors are in full swing and that made the views rather nice. I found all of the climbs pretty mild and thats saying something since I was on the biggest bike and probably weigh more than anyone else.

Call me a sicko, but I do not think it becomes a real, epic or great ride until someone wipes out or bike parts break. We avoided the former but came away with my rear tire's sidewall getting slashed open early on one of the descents (not so bad) and Ross's front brake dying (not so good). I was able to change the tube and rig the inner sidewall with duck tape to finish the ride. Ross had to hang back and walk some of the hairy sections. Overall it was still a blast, even with our bike's getting a little banged up (its mountain biking, dammit, not bird watching).

I look forward to checking out more of the rides throughout the Blue Ridge corridor including Doughthat, Massanutten and of course Snowshoe. I leave you with another Swedish nugget that I hope gets caught in yr noodle. Ha!

Night Rider!!!

Fall is certainly upon us as the temperatures and leaves have descended. I always try to get my weekday ride fixes in with my commutes to and from work, but its no substitute for the intensity of trail riding. My work and family commitments seem to become larger daily forcing me to creatively search for time to get out and burn it up. Shorter days make it even more challenging. I can get to my local haunt from my downtown office in about 15 minutes, but I still only might have a half an hour of decent light.

Undeterred, I dusted off my headlamp, a Niterider Flame Thrower HID their first series. I have used this light sporadically since I got it and have read some less than favorable reviews, but it has always been pretty bulletproof. It is blindingly bright and provides a daylight view of everything in front of you for about 20+feet. I suppose I could add a handlebar light for even better shadow definition, but I am able to see pretty well with this puppy. I have tackled technical rides and small jumps without too much fear whilst using it, but never any man made stunts. The 'switch has some fun stuff to play on so I decided to give'r a go.

I arrived a lil' before 6 PM and it was already dusk. There were some of the BMX'ers packing up, but not another soul around. I fired up my light within the first ten minutes. I was feeling pretty good, music playing through my pack and I had no trouble seeing anything. The Nomadizer felt great as usual. Hell, I could ride uphill through a manure pile on that bike and still enjoy myself. The platform ramp pictured below is about 8-10' up from the base of the exit and requires a slight right turn at the top before you descend the 45 degree incline ramp. I conquered this in the daylight, but it is pretty sketchy as there is little room to put a foot down at the top. I was not sure about trying it in the dark, but I was feeling good so I went for it.

I cleaned it perfectly and I cannot begin to express what a rush it was in the pitch black woods. I went on to ride for a little more than an hour. I never saw anyone else. I have always felt that night riding trails feels like you are in video game with darkness all around with the only light in front. I suppose in some open sections you can get some ambient light from the city or moon, but east coast woods are generally too dense to allow much if any light in. All totalled it was a blast and half. The only thing that would have made it any better would be to have some other like-minded riders to join in. Those are far fewer here than back in Georgia, sigh. I will be working at the EVMA booth at the 21st annual Tidewater Mountain Bike Challenge this weekend. The course is fantastic; maybe the best XC course (read: not dumbed down to a street with dirt thrown on it) I have ridden. See y'all there.

Lets Go...

...do it now.

I am far from a sycophant for any Hollywood elite, but now would be a good time to vote and make your voice heard. I cannot think of a more important election in my voting lifetime '85 to the present. Plus Sarah Silverman rocks. She is messhugah in a good way. Now go ride yr bike. My next ink:

Get your own knuckles at the knuckle tattoo gun.

Ready to Ride and the Nomadizer

Depending on whom you ask Samuel Levi, our newest player, rider, pack member (according to our dogs) was born on Friday 9.12.08 at 10:23 PM. My wife is recovering well, the family is thrilled and lil' Sam should be ready to rock in no time. I must say he is pretty awesome, in great shape and I am psyched to be able to do everything for him from the feeding to cleaning to changing and entertaining (we stick out our tongues when discussing politics). Speaking of politics, Tina Fey should receive an Emmy for this performance. Funny stuff no matter how you swing. Yes, I already have his first bike picked out too.

The "Nomadizer" is my nick name for my new Santa Cruz Nomad. It is my cunning lingual blending of the name Nomad and one of my favorite Fu Manchu songs, "Anodizer". This is somebodies homemade video which is mediocre, but you can at least hear the tune.



I held out on getting a new frame for quite awhile. I had been aboard my Heckler for over 3 years and it had served me well. I never felt out-gunned on it and I rode it all over the place including on my trip to Switzerland last year. It was on that trip with its high burliness factor and relentless downhills where I felt I wanted more bike. I tried Nomads before, but I originally felt they were too stretched-out for my routine riding and that would not translate well on the tight east coast single track I frequent. I was not real concerned about weight, but I kinda wanted to stay around the 35 pound mark or less. My hope was to retain all the positives of the Heckler (razor-sharp handling, and acceleration) while adding improved climbing ability and stability in the nastiness. I was well aware of the Nomad's reputation and had listened to Mo-Fun Mike rave about his since day one. Still I held off.

Santa Cruz rolled out their updated Blur LT (long travel) this spring which I spoke about here. At first it would have seemed to be an ideal choice for me with its matching geometry to my Heckler despite having less travel. However, after being assured that I would be better off aboard a Nomad for my shenanigans I set out to locate a frame. I knew that pretty much everything off of the Heckler would transfer over except for the Cane Creek Double Barrel shock so I procured one from T2. Then SC debuted their revised Nomad which would be available later this fall. I am sure it will be a kick ass ride, but I figured I would rather have the pinnacle of the original design, and the updates were not really that big a deal to me. Also I liked the looks of the original better with its hump echoing the shape of a 50's hot-rod. Last but not least I knew I would be able to locate deals on this design as shops salivated to get the new one in.

Initially I was a bit concerned after building the Nomadizer up as I was not used to the geometry which felt noticeably different than the Heckler. My first ride out the bike felt sluggish and unbalanced not to mention heavy. The frame and shock are heavier than the Heckler and with the beefy build-kit I have the weight was close to 39 pounds. I decided to speak Malcolm at Cane Creek about dialing in the shock who promptly returned my call. I remembered when Mike first had his Nomad and then later purchased a Double Barrel that it took some trial and error to find the sweet spot for the bikes suspension balance b/t solid pedalling, a plush ride over the trail chop and the bottomless feel that the VPP design is known for. Malcolm said that it would take some experimentation, but once dialed the Nomad works great with a Double Barrel. He made several simple suggestions which worked like a snap and the sluggish unbalanced feel disappeared. I then took inventory of my componentry and looked for ways to drop some weight. First and foremost, would be my wheelset which although bombproof is on the heavy side of the fence being better suited to DH (which I will save them for) versus all mountain riding. I ended up going with a set of DT 340 Enduro Trail wheels and immediately lost a noticeable pound and a half of rolling weight. All of the other components did not have as big a weight savings, however I switched my bar/stem combo to an Easton Monkey Light DH/Raceface Atlas and down-sized my WTB DH seat to a more svelte WTB Pure V Race in Camo like Diamond Dave loves. Final score: 35.6 pounds with pedals; same as the Heckle-beast. I added my "HELLBELLY" sticker on the top tube and I was ready to ride. (Part 2 soon)

Guilty Pleasures

I had a fantastic ride yesterday up at Freedom Park. I ran into some familiar riding acquaintances and met a new one. The weather was pretty much perfect, the trails in great shape having received a little rain during the previous days and I felt dialed in aboard the Nomadizer (detailed review and discussion forthcoming). One thing that riding there always re-enforces for me is my enjoyment of the kind of riding I probably should be "maturing" away from. In particular are my adorations for the sketchier technical-side of mountain bike riding versus my more efficient exercise-obsessed, light weight bike worshiping cross country riding brethren. Maybe one day I may find my way to measuring my riding enjoyment in miles covered, grams saved or faster lap times. This seems to be more acceptable to most as opposed to flying off drop-offs/jumps, careening down wheel-demolishing boulder fields or negotiating precariously narrow logs/bridges/ledges that span heights where falling comes with high consequences. They are all guilty pleasures that are just playing to me.

I felt I should share a couple other guilty pleasures that I have no real explanation for other than I am just fond of them. Feel free to judge/laugh at/condemn as you wish. The bands mentioned below have little if anything in common with most of the stuff I yap about here. "Everything She Wants" -Wham!

One of the reviews for this song says that it just rocks. I agree. It contains a stomping back beat and thumping bass with Michael Jackson-esque vocals (back when he did not suck) except with more soul. Powerful stuff. George Michael's personal antics have long overshadowed his musical output for many years, but he and Andrew hit a home run with this one. Yes, I do have this song in my iPod alongside Zeke and other aforementioned musical monsters.

"Good Thing" -Fine Young Cannibals

I loved The English Beat and I still rank "I Just Can't Stop it" as one of my all time favorite albums. After the Beat's short, but impressive career output the band splintered into General Public and Fine Young Cannibals. Although I was not really blown away by General Public I was always drawn to FYC's unique sound. I don't know why, but I love the retro-soul vocals and simple circular rhythm of the song. The video imagery which is reminiscent of Quadrophenia has a great look. Yes, I do sing these songs in the shower. Guilty as charged. We'll get back to the usual maelstrom soon enough.

Ride to Live

I was sorting through piles of cds, tapes, records the other day and pulled out a cd I listen to (well the mp3 tracks, actually) all the time, Zeke's Til' the Livin' End. Inside the cover booklet it says "Ride to Live". I have no doubt that the members of Zeke were referring to motorcycles and not bicycles, but the sentiment works for me either way. This album hit sometime in '03-04 and is by far my favorite high intensity cycling soundtrack. The whole thing is a pretty brief affair with it only lasting maybe 30 minutes or so. However, it never lets up and even the slower tracks are driving as hell. This release has been in pretty much every playlist I have made since it came out. Unlike other tunes I never skip over any of these songs. I have other Zeke albums, but none of them sound like Til' the Livin' End. The production which was handled by Jack Endino screams of the best early Motorhead output. However, it is faster, heavier and more frantic. Zeke was once descibed in a review as sounding like the Dwarves if they snorted a bathtub of meth everyday. I think they are bit more focused than that, but whatever ya like is fine. I hope to catch Zeke live sometime as I can only imagine how their brand of sweaty rock'n'roll mayhem comes off live. Yikes!

I think these videos for the songs "Chinatown" and "Dolphenwulf" provides the vibe.


Maybe I will grow up one day. Maybe not. More bike fun soon.

A cat-shaped hole in our hearts

The sweet lil' putty-tat, Beast for which this blog derives its name has passed on to the giant catnip-filled field beyond. She was 18 people years and 79 cat years old. The picture above is from a few years ago when she would nightly sleep/hang out on my neck and shoulders whilst I goofed on my computer. Beast was the runt of a litter that my girlfirend's cat had just before I went off to dental school. She was probably about six weeks old when I took her off to school with me. I will never forget our first bonding experience. She fit into the palm of my hand and as I headed up to Richmond in the sweltering August heat she was panting like crazy as my car had no AC. I pulled over and filled a bottle cap with water which she lapped up and then promptly fell asleep in my lap. Another cool thing she would do was to crawl onto my knee when I would play my acoustic guitar wrapping her front paws around my knee to hold on as I created various rackets over the years. We moved all over the place to different states, cities and homes. She took a few sabaticals over the years but always came back. Beast seemed to have a good sense about people too. Those that she did not care for I ended up eventually feeling the same about. Beast lived w/ my Mom who treated her like a queen for the last couple years of her life. We all will miss her. Rest in peace sweet kitty.

Jungle Hop

Boy oh boy I sure had fun assembling the accoutrements for our lil' boy's room this weekend. Its seems like forever ago since we picked out the theme and the furniture finally arrived this weekend. Often you wonder when you buy something if you made a good choice. I now know that we did after seeing it all together in his future bedroom. Its nice stuff, super-cute and I hope that someday that if he ever reads this he'll be embarrassed-hahaha! I originally wanted to go with an outer space theme, however we were not able to readily find bedding and all the hoo-haa in that style. My wife was amused but not crazy about the idea of a wall mural that I would paint that would have among other images a UFO abducting our dogs. That did not fly (pun-intended). In the end the jungle theme Zoofari won out. I love it as I had a jungle themed room when I was a toddler and I turned out ok. I love and respect animals often more than most people. I hope our little guy will learn to love and respect animals too and deserving people.

I had a swell AM ride up at Freedom Park today. I ran into a patient and his friends and we all hit it together. I ride alone alot so this was a nice change of pace. Another thing that was great was that they were into big bikes (hell, one of 'em was on a Demo 7 with the crazy paint job like in the photo) and milking all of the technical features that the trail has to offer. Yeah man, bring it on! No offense to any of the more tame XC riders, but I just like throwing down more. Now we rode everything not just the places with jumps (although we did each of those a few times). Call it what you want; all-mountain/trail/freeriding whatever. Its just mountain biking to me and its fun. Jungle Hop as covered by my heros The Cramps. Lots of garabge, man.

Lay it on me

Assorted tales/tails. Despite having many days here of temperatures in the 90's I have done a lot of riding. Mostly commutes to and from work. In fact I have not drove to work in over two weeks. I kind of feel guilty when I drive because my commutes to either office are brief (less than five miles). Sure there are times when I have to schlep something that I would rather not stuff into my messenger bag, but its only a minor inconvenience. Previously I relegated all of my commuting duties to my speedy cyclocross bike. This is a logical choice as I have slicks on it so its basically a heavy duty roadie and I can get to any destination faster aboard it than any of my other rides. However my instinct to play never seems to go away so I rebuilt my old Surly Instigator (old picture above/new and improved below) into an urban assault vehicle. I went with a 1x9 gearing, Maxxis Holy Roller tires, a Gravity Dropper, flat pedals and a nice beefy Z1 fork. Its perfect for riding down stairs, jumping curbs/planters, riding through ragged industrial yards and general urban mayhem. It may not be as fast as the 'cross bike, but like I always say "It makes the commute an adventure". I find myself scouting lines all the time now when I am in car not unlike when I was kid with my skateboard where I would see some embankment and think how I could ride it. Now I have to use broader strokes and a larger palate. Its fun.

Heres some more fun. Recently our local paper reported on a proposed "cycling loop" in Virginia Beach. I am very happy that that any effort is being made for the benefit of cyclists in this area, however I think this proposal is a poor choice. It will not be sustainable because at its core it will be boring. It will take even the most novice rider only a brief period of time to circle a 2.4 km paved path. Then what? Keep going around like a hamster in a treadmill? If thats the effect you want go spin at the multitude of gyms around. Paved path? How about the boardwalk? Its longer and far more interesting. No serious rider is going to go there for training because a. It will not provide any challenge and b. Aforementioned novices will be in the way. What really kills me is the cost to taxpayers of $3.9 million. I will not sit here and badmouth without a solution. I say take the 25 acres of land (or find another park or two) and allow a series of multi-use trails to be built for cyclists (mountain bikers), hikers and possibly equestrians. Does this seem self-serving? You bet it is, as there is a single city park on the south side of the bay that has legal mountain bike trails (First Landing does not count; the trails are too wide). However, there are amazing successful examples of this throughout the nation. Heres the black and white: It can be done at a fraction of the proposed sum. It will bring interest to the area, revenue to local vendors and provide a project that can be sustained for years by local groups (civic, cycling clubs, scouts, etc.) Amazing examples of these kind of projects be found in Fort Lauderdale (similarly flat), New York City, Seattle and Woodstock, Georgia (Atlanta suburb). The last one I have personally rode many times and help maintain at some their work parties. It is incredible that a community would come together to make something like this happen. It has drawn people to the area increased the local business revenues and given the area national recognition. Picnic Areas, Frisbee golf, dog parks, nature paths all could be included. Bottom line is that it could be fun.

My "punk" pages

Yet another old crazy jew hit it right on head in summing up how I view these couple of nuggets that were recently sent to me.
Thats me on the far right hunched over my guitar some twenty-three years ago. I am kinda psyched seeing this not only for nostalgic reasons, but the crowd seem to dig it and we actually sounded pretty solid and thunderous for barely knowing how to play our instruments. Classic sounding metallic hardcore punk that was being pedaled around the US in 100's of shitty venues by 1000's of similar bands. I'm younger than that now.

HijinX!

Damn, its been nearly a month since my last transmission, but I have been crazy-busy. I apologize to all 1.5 of you that have anxiously awaited my return to cyberspace with baited breath. Believe it or not I have not been sitting on my ass so here is a quick re-cap of the past several weeks activities: We purchased and moved into our new home; we opened our second office at work and my band moved into our new practice space. That is a lot of crap to go through, boxes to pack then unpack, and stuff to organize. My better half wisely anticipated that a break would be much needed and booked us a brief time away over the Memorial Day weekend so I am happily decompressing on our balcony over-looking a quiet beach in the outer banks of NC. The last time I was here was nearly five years ago, however that was a far less relaxing time for me. I have thoroughly enjoyed not having any schedule to adhere to and I have had a lot of fun cruising around the bike paths here on our cruisers and goofing on the beach.

I know a thing or two about goofing on the beach. As a kid I grew up only a block from the beach. Today that would seem pretty privileged, but my parents both worked and we were squarely in the middle class. We rented a downstairs apartment in a duplex that I do not think was zoned legally, but my mom knew that it would keep my brother and I around our group of friends whom were all from well-to-do-families and in a good school district. Although I know now that this was a tough decision for my folks financially, I am very thankful. It was around this time (6-7th grade) that I first started to become what I thought was "cool". This was being part of a group kids who were generally smart and well-mannered yet very mischievous. Surfing culture was king for us despite our beach not really being known for good waves. Spring, summer and early fall were all about checking surf for that one day there was something to ride. If we weren't surfing we were finding ways to get into trouble or find the next rush. This included a multitude of questionable activities from hassling tourists/neighbors, underage drinking, terrorizing country club golfers on our bikes and generally being lil' smartasses to anyone and everyone. Surfing as a sport was no where near as mainstream as it is today and skateboarding had taken a dive from its day in the seventies disco ball glow thus becoming the bastion of miscreants across the globe. Initially, I was drawn to these sports because thats what the "cool" kids did, however I came to realize that I liked the fact that I did not need a team, an opponent, or with skateboarding really anything other pavement. It was not football, baseball or basketball and there were no little leagues and my angry ass self was glad. Mountain biking fell under the same umbrella. It is intense, a huge rush and requires no teams, specific fields or rules. The same underground non-mainstream vibe.

Yesterday, I picked up a current issue of Surfer magazine. I was amazed at how huge it is. Pretty mainstream. It is part of the Action Sports media conglomerate that also publishes one of my favorite cycling magazines Bike. It is easily 3-4 times the size of Bike. I recently lamented the lack of riders out on my favorite local trail on a nice day. I realize that mountain biking will never reach the kind of appeal that surfing has. There are no hot chicks in bikinis chilling at the trailhead nor the nice smell of saltwater in yr hair at the end of the ride. Our tans are pretty goofy too. Most people will never get it. But ya know what? Good. Long before Oakleys made the glasses that adorn many a surfer they made bike grips. Love those kind of Hijinx.

Now get on yr knees and worship:

Cars Suck/Cars Rule Conundrum

Riding in my car or on my bike in traffic has re-enforced my utter contempt for humanity countless times. Motorized transportation that you are responsible for seems to bring out the worst in just about everyone who drives, myself included. I hate it. You are hurtling along in yr self-contained internal combustion travesty generally paying attention to anything except actually driving said vehicle. Everyone that drives faster than you is a maniac and everyone that drives slower is an idiot. Whilst you are fiddling with yr radio/make-up (not me usually)/ ac/heater/phone/gps everyone behind you is subject to yr random swerving, speeding up and slowing down. Oh and heaven forbid someone is pulled to the side of the road with a breakdown or fender bender as this demands slowing down to a crawl so quality rubber-necking can ensue. The same ridiculous speed decreases apply in tunnels, on bridges and if a spritz of rain appears.

I do not live near any mountain biking trails. The closest mountains are at least three to four hours away. The closest park to my house that has legit single track is a fifteen to twenty minute drive. There are no subways or light rail (yet) anywhere nearby and taking a series of buses to get there would be too time prohibitive. I must drive to get to any real off road riding I wish to do. The best trail systems around here are all across the Chesapeake Bay scattered up the I64 corridor on the way to Richmond with the closest one to me being about twenty-five + minutes w/o any traffic. However, I must navigate one of the two bridge tunnel systems to get there and that invariably leads to those aforementioned ridiculous slow downs.

I would love for there to be an extensive public transportation system linking all points of this region and others, but I have my doubts that I will see anything like that in my lifetime. The MARTA lines in Atlanta, although limited at least let me take adventures with my bike around town to some of the small in town rides and bigger urban rides to play and shop. So my disdain for cars is tempered by my inherent dependence on them. It is nice to go shop, run errands, get meals, etc. whenever you want while be able to transport others, but I try to limit my use of my vehicle as much as I can. As the price of gas climbs nearly everyday, I know that I am very fortunate to be able to commute via bike to work and live close to my offices as such to minimize my fuel consumption. Fuel costs in Europe are already at least a dollar more than the US average cost per gallon. The shit is gonna hit the fan for many if we continue down our current path. I would love to see the US infrastructure become more like Europe with vast public transportation options and a plethora of energy efficient vehicles available. Maybe H2's could be melted down to rebuild the bridges that are failing around the country. I admit I am a junkie too thats gonna kick tomorrow.

I went to the PSP fest yesterday and had real cool time. I did a group ride that encompassed all of the Lakeview trails and was a blast. I got back to the staging area in time to catch the Huffy toss and run into DJ with whom I did a short loop with before I split. It seems that everyone had fun and there was a solid turnout. I understand that it started to rain up there later so the night activities and todays events were canceled, but at least yesterday was good. I must thank my car for getting me up there and back. I will get over it. I mean anything is possible and maybe world peace and understanding are not far off if a big monster truck bike riding creep and a skinny single speeding 29'er pilot can enjoy a ride together...

Total Passover!!!

Total Passover indeed, but I will excuse Tom for not mentioning playing with moi on the page of his old band. Then again since we never released anything it doesn't really matter, but Thunderball 3 did manage to play some fun shows in our brief existence and I am glad it helped catapult those guys into other gigs.

Passover has always been my favorite Jewish holiday by a long shot. The meals are interesting, educational, and generally pretty dang tasty. It was always a great time with lots of family and usually some non-family guests with all kibitzing, noshing, wine drinking, and of course as kid having the potential to win cash for finding the Afikomen. Tonight was no different with great time had by all over at my uncle's house. This video sums up the fun and hilarity of the season.

I re-acquainted myself with some older recordings this week including The Fluid's Glue/Roadmouth The Mummies Never Been Caught and Jack O' Fire's The Destruction of Squaresville. All of this stuff kicks some serious butt and probably is not for the faint of heart. I never did see the later two, but I did catch The Fluid in Richmond around the time their album Purplemetalflakemusic came out. They rocked hard and have to be one of my favorite Denver exports musically along with the Hillbilly Hellcats. I was never blown away by The Mummies back when I first heard them in the early '90's. Their sound was ultra lo-fi and sounded primitive even by most simplistic garage bands' outputs at the time. However, listening to this stuff again has given me a new appreciation for their trashy style. There are some real gems in their musical toilet. Again, not for the faint of heart as they can be obscene and the music at times is pretty annoying in how shoddy it sounds, yet there is some bang-on playing in there. Jack O' Fire on the other hand were amazing and put a vast array of covers through their punk/blues meat grinder with stellar results. The harmonica playing and distorted vocals will cut you in half as you are pummeled by Tim Kerr's fuzzed-out guitar wailing and their stomping rhythm section. Their take on Joy Division's No Love Lost is other worldly. Remember to call yr Mummie! Mazel Tov! Don't forget to check out my new linkages. PSP festival is this coming weekend and its should be a blast. Lotsa potential there for some sweet air.

a deluxe apartment in the sky...

...well actually a house by the Lafayette River. We'll be moved in the next month to our new pad which is maybe about 3/4 of a mile from our current digs. I am fired up 'bout it, but the packing and schlepping are never that fun. The new place has a really huge garage, a point that was important to us with all the bikes, tools and parts we have. I have enjoyed the house that we have called home for nearly two years, but I will be glad to be in our own place with everything brand new. We'll be settled in long before our new family member arrives in September which is a big plus for my wife, her comfort and my peace o' mind.

Speaking of keeping my sanity, the weather here lately has been typical of SE Virginia springtime with plenty of rain and wildly varying temperatures. I have not been out to ride any off road in a couple of weeks due to sloppy conditions and my berserk schedule. I am gonna try to make up for that this week and get back out to Ipswich after work and perhaps the rescheduled EVMA 1st annual Mountain bike festival that was moved to this coming Saturday due to the aforementioned shitty weather which is threatening to screw it up again. I have had only one real ride since I put new Avid Code 5 brakes on my bike and I am itching to go heat them up again. Their performance was very impressive, tons of power, smooth modulation and pleasantly quiet. I may eventually put the Dangerboy levers I had on my old Juicy's, but the standard levers are pretty dang comfortable. I am definitely jonesin' for a good ride; I have read the latest issues of Dirt Rag, Bike and Decline cover to cover. I love riding to work however even taking circuitous routes does not scratch that itch. I know, I know; patience grasshopper. "Time for you to leave."

Never change...

..whatever you do. I like noisy, fucked up punk rock music. I have for a very long time. Last night I was a participant in providing such entertainment and I had a blast doing so. The show in question was The Points (wailing above), The Hydeouts, and my band jack leg (page coming soon upon us doing some long overdue recording). The venue Tanner's Creek is a little seafood restaurant just around the corner from my house that seems pretty popular with the Norfolk police. It is an extremely informal place to have a show which adds to its DIY punk aesthetic. Tables and chairs are piled up out of the way and bands set up in front of a non-functioning fireplace surrounded by assorted nautical art on the walls. A primitive PA takes care of vocals only (barely) and its otherwise its a "run what you brung" affair. The only reason we even played was cause Bob loves The Points and made the calls to the show promoter and The Hydeouts to get us on the bill only a week ago. Pretty dang punk to start out and reminded me of throwing together house parties years ago where bands would just kinda show up with their crap and play to a bunch of partying fools. Same deal last night, as Tanners feels like you are in someones dinning room doing something you are not supposed to. No hoopla, backstage, or attitudes; everybody helps set up/breakdown and does their thing without any real schedule or rules. The sound is pretty lousy, but no one really cares; the small crowds are predominately people from the bands and their close friends.

jack leg kicked off on our 10 PM start time promptly at 10:40 and tore through our set of reckless originals and covers. We added a cool kooky cat named John on bass since our last outtings and he has filled out our sound tremendously. Everybody seemed to dig it despite some technical difficulties and random squirrel tossing. The Hydeouts were up next and blasted a huge wall-o-guitar sound that for me was reminiscent of The Dead Boys and "Kick Out the Jams" era MC5

We all really liked them and look forward to doing some more shows with those guys.

The Points who came down from DC started their show with some silly tape loops of the Ghostbusters theme and Darth Vader's score from Star Wars. They then tore into their nitro-fueled sound that has a cool mix of screeching guitar, no wave keyboard droning and machine-gun drumming. They barely stopped for even a second between songs which made many of them tend to blur together, but their signature number "Rock N Roll, No Rules" was recognizable and ripped. The Points shear intensity made up for any lack of dynamics; they were mesmerizing not unlike watching a car crash. They were all very cool to boot.

Overall it was a great show. It was not crowded, but everyone there seemed to be into it. Every band sounded very different too. I am not going get nostalgic for my days of youth; fuck that. This is the new deal now; yeah Rock N Roll No Rules!

Well, I bet you like...

...whatever band that seems edgy to those in the mainstream. In reality these selections by those who try in some way to relate to my pantheon of musical tastes are usually so far off base its hard for me to not come off as a complete ass and not laugh, berate, or belittle the offenders. Those who do not know me often have thought that I might be a fan of stuff like Guns'N'Roses for whom I have never really liked. When they first hit in 86'-87' they just came off way too contrived and totally steeped in the rockstar bullshit I so rallied against as a young hardcore punk fan. I am reading Slash's autobiography and he comes off as I kinda expected. Predictable, just like the bloated riffage squealing from his Les Paul/Marshall combo. Jimmy Page and many others did a better and more interesting job with that set up. Maybe this will achieve some good hate mail here.

So just where do I find the music that sparks my interest you might ask? Back in the day before this internet thingy, local, regional, and a few national fanzines were my source for what was going on. There is some great coverage about this early underground media source in the DVD and book American Hardcore. It snowballed from there as one band would turn you on to some other band that was cool and so on. Independent labels would also lead you to other acts on their roster that you might like. In the late 80's early 90's you could join the Sub Pop singles club and others like it to get their select 7" record releases of many of the most happening acts at the time. Today you can't swing a dead cat without hitting some source of music, scenes, art or events. I love listening to podcasts from Garagepunk.com and checking out Pitchfork for an endless supply of music that no one has heard of. Fuck Slash. Ha!Lately a couple of bands have been hogging ear time for me. An oldie but absolutely timeless record is the Modern Lovers self-titled album. This might be some of the most catchy collection of tunes that I have ever heard. Simple and smart, it blends well with just about any play list I put together. Most people's only familiarity with their brilliant leader Jonathan Richman will have been his cameos in the movie Something About Mary where he popped as a troubadour in the background singing songs about portions of the film. I could write tons about this album, but just check it out.

The other band No Age I read about in and article covering this years South by Southwest music festival. Their release Weirdo Rippers came out late last summer and is primitive and dynamic simultaneously. Its noisy as hell which I love and at least a few of the tracks make me wanna go nuts. They list Squeeze, Crass, The Ramones, and The Urinals among their influences. Weirdo rippers for sure!

Now to change it up. Lotsa bike stuff happening in the near future. I would have never believed we would have an alleycat right here in lil' old Norfolk, but here ya go.

On the same day there is some biking and bbq action in Surry as noted on the Cycling Central Virginia site. In just a few weeks EVMA is hosting their first annual York River State Park mountain bike festival. I will definitely check that one out. I haven't been up there in awhile so it should be fun.

The big prize pig is the second annual HIP/VIP ride down in Pisgah in May. Technically, its for Turner or Ventana bike owners, but you could likely sweet talk your way in for that one. Check out T2 Bikes for raffle info and the Turner Forum on Empty Beer.com for the scoop. I will soon be doing some sweet pimping with these super-dope bar end caps. I could not resist the enduring allure of the mud flap siren. Yeeeeeeoooooow!!!!

Random acts of beauty and insanity...

Oh my pretty... One of the hot new rigs that people are hootin about on various forums and yonder is the new Blur LT from one of my fave bike companies Santa Cruz. There is a very cool write up on nsmb.com about the behind the scenes development of the bike and its prototypes. My pal Bobasaki (rockin' his Mustang below) bought the original Blur LT last year and it is a smoking ride. The new one is something I might consider even though it has less travel than what I am running now. Those VPP's sure do ride nice though and the geometry is almost identical to my beloved Heckle-beast. The new BLT's shape is very similar to the Nomad which my pal Mike rides and swears by. The Nomads I have rode all felt a bit too stretched out for me since the coresponding size has a longer top tube, wheel base, and slacker head angle. If I was going to hook up with one it would not be for awhile and I would likely buy the whole bike as opposed to cannibalizing parts off of something else. The closest SC dealer is in Richmond so I would either buy online or sweet-talk my lbs into hooking up an order. We'll see. I am going to ride tomorrow w/ the EVMA for the Sunday morning group ride up in Williamsburg. Despite my lust over the new BLT its highly likely one ride aboard Heckle-beast will dissuade me from such impure thoughts. Its hard to argue with a rig that has held up to my endless abuse for nearly three years, has never held me back from any kind craziness I attempted and always felt dialed throught multiple component and suspension changes. Its always looked bitchin' in flat black too.

Another black thing I have always been drawn to is Black Sabbath. They are currently revisiting their "Dio" days a period for which I was not a fan of 'cept maybe the title track to Mob Rules but I digress. One of my very first albums (not counting assorted Disney story records) was Paranoid. No matter how important, influential or whatever anything is you can't take anything too seriously. I nearly pee-ed myself when I saw this ultra-sweet Cindy and Bert video. Whats up with the dog? Check out the blistering original first then put on yr dancing shoes for Cindy and Bert's version.





1000 Homo DJ's did a cool dance remix of the song "Supernaut" a few years ago, but this takes the cake. Now lets ride.